Ix33fob's Journals

How have you been?

Well things have been going pretty good. I've started talking to someone I thougth I'd never talk to and honestly, she's pretty cool. Although, I'm waiting for that side of her everyone seems to be grrr with. So, until I see that, I can't say much... I'm not judging based on other peoples opinions. I'd like to make my own. I just hope its not as bad as everyone seems to be dead set on.

So... I'm totally confused about this one person... all signs SEEM to be pointing to something very good but, I can't help but doubt it. To anyone else it would be extremely ovi. but... I really don't want to get my hopes up just to get crushed as that seems to happen pretty much.... no, every time. I'd just like to know who "her" is. At this point, I have a good guess, but, I'm not sure if thats a good thing or a bad thing yet...

I lost the game. =)

I found my new love. Bring me the horizon. unfortunatly, I was unable to see them this valentines day. Instead I got to sit there and watch two wonderfully happy couples be attached at the hip... can you say hell? ~~It happened to hurt in fact.~~ I thank god that bree and david aren't all "don't let me go! Hug me! Hold me! Kiss me! Rub it in everyones face! Shove it down there throats! Let everyone and their fucking mothers know we love eachother!!!!" ... sorry.. got a little carried away there. unfortunalty, I can't speak for every other couple at my school. PDA.. not for it. In my opinion, extremely disrespectful. I mean, theres a difference between just simply holding hands and practically being on top of eachother sucking face. Theres a HUGE difference. I just wish people would realize that no one wants to see them kiss, horribly I might add, I mean god, can you say sloppy? ew.

oh yea.. as of tomorrow, I will be an aunt to a certain Isabella Beatriz Campbell. Love that combo don't you? haha... NO SCHOOL FOR ME! San deigo... here I come.

-Ana

Wow

haven't been on here in awhile...

Lots of new things. Some of which I'm not to happy about.

Despite popular belief, it has nothing to do with lyssa (lyssa, your probably reading this... I'm tired of saying her and all that crap. done with that. =) Nothing bad anyways.) I'm just not to keen on the idea of everyone become BEST Friends as some of... well, one particularlly large nosed emo kid (breathe people, he happens to be a.. brotherlike friend of mine) who is WAY to nice wants it to be. I have no problem what so ever with hanging out with them, even jessica I can handle, although.. that may end badly but... DAMKAB has had a conversation about this before and it goes against eveerything we've EVER said if we let everyone in. Not saying that hanging out is bad... its just.. the DAMAKB has been through so much stuff together, we all know everything about eachother, we've all cried in front of eachother, we all have held eachother while we're crying. and that bond took almost a year to get to this point. As explained before... DAMKAB is like your brothers and sisters.. JAS (?) is like the extremly close cousins that you could trust with your life but never quit as much as your brothers and sisters.. you know... I'm hoping that doesn't sound bitchy because I'm not trying to be at all. Thats just how... all of us except on large nosed kid and tall one feel, just no one will say.

French... Daniel.. Now explain to me why in the hell he has absolutly no problem what so ever talking to me in french, even flirting a fuck of a lot yet chooses to ignore me outside of class... ? Ene admitted to still likeing me a little about 2 weeks ago. And he still insists on telling me alll about the girls he's "gonna get with" Bullshit... I know it is... better yet, explain to me why I care.

Dad lost his job, moms pissed a lot now, aliicas locked in her room, cats having her baby within the next 1-2 weeks.

I have many theories about heaven and hell, and I don't think being cathoic is a choice I'm going to stick with.. organized religion.... not for me. Now.. exlainign this to my mother, a task all its own.

Thats about it...

Again... Lyssa, please don't take this personally.

-Ana

I never did quite get that

That smile on your face always left me wondering. Although, I should know by now, your bad news. And you've never looked so good. Your a lush and I hate. And all I need to know, is there something I've been missing? Maybe I should hate you for this?

Twilight... Eh... I was a bit disappointed.. I wanted more though! It just ended.... =O tres mal. (hehe... french!)

*sighs*... So I found that he's depressed. The question is why? He has what he wanted...I would think that he'd be happier then ever right now. I feel more guilty then ever. I apologize constantly to him. Then again, he could slit my throat and with my last breath I'd apologize for bleeding on his shirt. He always says the same thing, "Its not your fault." But I can't help but think it is. I know it isn't all my fault. First holidays after a family death. My family wasn't much better. They're taking it badly... They are not in a good place right now in any means. Fucking Connie.... I don't even know her but I hate her for putting him and his family through that. How can anyone be so... i don't even know the word for that type of behavior. She made a big mistake... shes going to be misrable... I'm willing to bet that she'll end up killing herself by new years. She's already said she's tried...

..hmmm....

J'ai faim. Je voudrais un sandwich. S'il te plait.

I had high hopes of silver and gold

I'm in an unusally good mood tonight... Although I have a lot of homework, I've been on the computer for 2 hours messing with daniels ipod and putting new songs on mine and putting good songs on his cause when we trade in french... he has nothing really good besides chiodos. I finally have matt costa on my ipod!!!!!!!!

klapgmweopgja.... I'm really happy right now!!!!! I really don't know why!!! But I am!!! =) No really a bad thing, just werid... haha

-Ana

I found a new lyric!!!

Fake it like you matter thats a lie we can both keep, OHHHH!!!

Hehehe..Chance did say he'd kick his ass for me. BUT, death is never an option, injury, maybe, thats a BIG maybe but chance would probably kill the pathetic biotch... haha... god I love being.. me!

In other news... I wanna get my ipod home, dock, shit. lol... its co weird useing lol. I swore I'd never use it... but its easier the haha... by one letter?!?! Yea I know... Remeber this is ana yo! shut it!

I LOVE YOU!!!! idk... just felt like stated that. now guess who I'm talking about. =) Lifes a guessing game right?

-Ana

Wat happened?

It hurts in the worst way now that your gone... it sooo wrong.

Wow.. I feel like I don't even talk to him anymore. Hes not answering my phone calls. I don't get those random calls at 10 anymore. Hes never online. THe only time I'm ever really with him is at lunch. Hes never there after school. And then the one time I talk to him, he says something stupid amd expects me to be ok with that? I was terrifyed that this was gonna happen. Become another... ex-best friend whos name I shall not mention. We promised eachother that would never happen and I promised I'd never leave... but I think I already did... I won't lie... I miss the kid. BUT theres nothing I can do... If he wants to forget about us. He can. Cause its like this with all of us now...

-Ana

I should get use to this by now...

One day... Are you serious. I know I said I was fine with it but the more I think about it the more it bothers me. I was hoping to give it a chance before shooting it down so fast... But then again. I should have known better. Everytime I'm actaully happy or at least content, something happens to mess it up. Everytime. I guess its just my luck. Or lack of. I should just get use to the disappointment. But ugh... I just don't understand why the fuck he would say yes in the first place if he left like that. Well... I guess theres nothing I can do. Although. I could have fun with this... Make him regret it? Hmm... I don't know if he's worth it. I mean... its daniel. What the hell did I expect. Ha... Although it makes me a bt upset to think about I still find it a bit amusing... Yea know what... Making him regret it sounds pretty fun! =) I'm evil. I will say this, it did up my self confidence.. on a scale from 1-100 it went from 0 to.. 20? I mean... his ex. was sooo pretty. look at me. not so much. Nothing in comparision to her.

In other news... I'm getting my hair cut wednesday.. I'm going to get it thinned out and hopefully my mom won't notice because she will be pissed off at me. I have purple extentions. that I plan on putting in. and I think I'm gonna go buy little kid hair bow/clips and start wearing them. I like how it looks!

Tuesday will be fun. I feel like I haven;t actually hung out with miles lately.. He's been M.I.A. at school and when he was here he didn't go to the tree after school like usual. ? Hm... I'm gonna bring up X103.9s x-mas concert thingy and see if he along with.. probably the whole crew (haha.. yes, they are me crew!) wanna go... I wanna see ludo!!! and ... idk what other bands are playing.

-Ana

You make me smile

Today was... really good! I never would have thought! *sighs* I'm actually happy... thats a shocker! =) I can't stop smiling!!! Its awesome!!!

-Ana

Baby, You make me feel so alive

Like the brightest star you shine through!

Woah... I just found some stuff out. WOAH. That was a shocker... I mean... she... he... I thought she... hated him. and now.... and since 7th grade? and he went out her friend like 5 times in one year.... she just sat there, and said nothing. it makes so much since. but.. woah. I honestly never thought that would ever happen. No wonder she acts all weird. No wonder every time I called her, which was a lot, in a frantic panic she knew exaclty what to say to calm me down. No wonder she got all awkward when we teased them about flirting... crap. And I just found out about my other friend liking my other friends ex and they might go out again. crap. woah... its like... all coming out at once. Why is it that once I'm getting to a good point with my emotions everyone else is heading in a downward spiral? wtf mate?

In other news. The show on friday... Chiodos, Silverstien (I mean.. I'm soming to see silverstein. lol... freakin krystal!), ESCAPE THE FATE, alesana, and a skylite drive. woah... awesome!!!!! like.. AHHHHHH!!!! AFter the show... I met craig owens! =O He hugged me!!! It was freakin awesome! And then we met Craig Mabbit?! he was drunk, high. smoking and it was amazing! His girlfriend is so nice! and so pretty to! =) He signed my dollar! ok.. no more bragging... sorry guys. I had to tell someone! anyone!

uhhh... idk what else to say... lol

-Ana

Baby, You make me feel so alive

Like the brightest star you shine through!

Woah... I just found some stuff out. WOAH. That was a shocker... I mean... she... he... I thought she... hated him. and now.... and since 7th grade? and he went out her in one year. andfriend like... 5 times she just sat there, and said nothing. it makes so much since. but.. woah. I honestly never thought that would ever happen. No wonder she acts all weird. No wonder every time I called her, which was a lot, in a frantic panic she knew exaclty what to say to calm me down. No wonder she got all awkward when we teased them about flirting... crap. And I just found out about my other friend liking my other friends ex and they might go out again. crap. woah... its like... all coming out at once. Why is it that once I'm getting to a good point with my emotions everyone else is heading in a downward spiral? wtf mate?

uhhh... idk what else to say... lol

-Ana